Reaching Beyond the Brass Ring

This summer has been really interesting I’ve traveled a lot I did Sacramento a few times I went to Washington DC, trip hopped around New York City I got closer to some people and grew further apart from others all the while maintaining the core of who I am. Life is a funny thing the people in your life come crashing at you like ocean waves some of them linger on and stay for the rest of your life. Others return to the ocean with only remnants of what they left you with. I grieved the loss of some people recently. I hope that they will find their way back to me. I believe true friendship cannot be found without brutal honesty as a foundation. Not to say that this should not be tempered by kindness love and understanding but if you cannot be honest with the person that you consider a friend in hopes that the gentle redirection will put you back on the right course then where you really friends to begin with? I’ve recently had to fine tune my ability to read people and discerning  who I can trust, I take full responsibility for my level of naïveté of putting people on a pedestal that they could not possibly  live up to. But all I can do is open the doors and communication and let the rest take its course.

 I’ve been very humbled recently by people critiquing my abilities I just smile and say if they really knew me would they have said what they thought of me? As a person with a disability I believe I have a responsibility to carry myself with pride, love, and respect. I must push through the stereotypes of yesterday and show my true nature. To be honest I think my passion and my drive and my sense of self frightens some people. People are always talking about making change but then when somebody comes along and actually implements it they freaked out. They’re like wait a minute where comfortable talking about change not actually doing something about it. I myself in the opposite I’m a doer not a talker I like to actually see the change that I’m talking about if I’m going to speak words into existence the actions for the words need to be that much greater. A sense of self-worth that can only be manifested from the heart, some people have taken the strong-willed nature and try to strap me down and change me. But I only answer to Him. He has blessed me so much in this past year no matter how much I look at my life I’m abundantly full and overflowing with joy.  Life can attack you with all kinds of obstacles, but the truth is that everyone has the tools within themselves to conquer these things no matter what the problem. People are too busy blaming other people fort their shortcomings to unlock the God damned door of their toolbox.

 I recently spent a week with a group of amazing youth at the youth leadership forum for students with disabilities in Sacramento (YLF) I was there as a co-counselor and a mentor to these leaders of the future. But what came out of it was me being taught, inspired and motivated to do so much more than what I’ve been doing. To address every facet of my life and crank it up a notch, to stare fear right in the face and attack. Life is so full of positive possibilities we just have to walk through the door to grab them. Go without fear trusting your heart and believe in the power of one, that ONE can change the world.

I am working on balancing my life for complete optimization I am ready for my love to enter my life and share my joys, my sadness and every part of my spirit. As the seasons turn so do my thoughts to love passion, strength and motivation to do more than just what is asked of me. Amen

DCAD and SF 2012

Honesty

Honesty is a difficult thing for some people to do. When I was a little boy I can remember times being dishonest when I was a afraid of being hurt. When I turned away from the darkness I decided not to fear anymore, when I released that fear I decided to be honest. Sometimes honesty hurts others sometimes honesty hurts ourselves. But I'd rather have the truth in my life than a false sense of love and security.
Friendships are nothing if honesty is not the foundation. Now that I encompass half  my life  outside of Hollywood honesty is ever more present. If I'm going to have friends they need to accept all parts of me the funny, serious the gentle and brutally truthful, these parts are all the sums of me.

I will be the first to admit that I have horrible trust issues one of my biggest faults the flip side of that is once I let someone in my heart they have all of it. once I give someone my heart takes a lot for me to not second-guess actions, motives etc. this I am constantly battling, God will be the only ones to be able to lift it from me forever. One thing I do have is tremendous loyalty I will go to the sword for anyone I believe in and for those who I feel responsible for. Responsibility is a tricky thing when you're somebody's friend there is a level of responsibility that comes with that, you are responsible for safeguarding them in whatever way humanly possible and trusting them having faith in them and letting your guard down with them. This is tremendously difficult but worth it.


In LA there's so much competition to be the next big thing so many people are going for the same brass ring its unbelievable. You might have uniqueness someone might think they have more to offer than you. So this fear creeps into your heart and you want to protect what's yours because you know that there's somebody just waiting for you not to be pro active enough  and figure it out before you. The truth is nobody can take anything that is meant for you.  In comes faith and trust like gentle hands on your shoulders. We must believe in something greater than ourselves to carry us through.


That being said we must never let reality slip out from under us. The universe will manifest whatever our dreams desire but not at the cost of others or ourselves. It is wonderful to have belief in something but  over zealousness without the temperance of reality will leave us so hungry that we will do anything to crunch our appetites. The key is to find the balance and honest loyalty between a friendship and our wildest dreams. True friendship is everlasting and some say dreams are fleeting.

Acting and Life with Andy Arias

What is love?

This is a poem that I am writing to my future better half:


I feel you near me. 
With each passing moment of the day your face becomes more clear to me. 
I  feel your warm breath upon my neck.
 And when you touch me I am yours completely.
Your invisible power compels me.
If I had just one wish it would be your gentle kiss on my sweet  restless lips!!!
I want to swim for days in the sweet pools of your deep blue eyes let me drown in their endlessness..
I must remember that you are coming for me and I will wait patiently, I will gently anticipate the sweet cress of belonging to you.




Lately I've been having this over whelming feeling of loss. this has been my first blog in a while many of you know that I've been blogging for but haven't put a blog out recently. It's funny I've been dating a lot lately and I've been finding pieces of the man I want in all of these different persona. So I have choices I could settle for a guy that will give me one of the things that I want and neglect the others or I can wait for someone to encompass all the aspects that I admire in the man. But how do I crunch  this longing I have inside. if I I still like and let them go and how do I get them back? How do you tell the person that you've let go/freed to come back to you and give it another chance to believe in you and more importantly believe in two.


So do I wait? I've always heard that patience is a virtue well sometimes I want to say fuck patience. Who will fill that need my heart needs now? If the man that the Creator has in store for me is out there please let him be manifested right before my very eyes. Leave the pretense at the door the bullshit on the floor Let us take our blindfolds off and danced together for ever more. these words might sound idiotically romantic but I am a true believer that we create the truth within our hearts and what's in my mind that this man is near me now. Shall I have them come and find me let me go and seek him, let us find each other and find a different freedom. I am sick to death of the games we play the cadges we put on our hearts in order to save the pride we cherish but yet we sit alone embarrassed. I'd rather throw it all away for some simple loving words for the truth that lies within our hearts.


I know it sounds like a prayer of some kind. But I am nothing more than a vessel of the spirit. 
 I hope this all makes sense to you and if it doesn't get a clue the heart is a gift not to be hoarded, something to share then be rewarded.

Manifesting in the midst of Growing

Growing up is the funniest  thing if you were to look at your life five years ago I bet none of you would think or imagine you'd be where you are today I know I didn't!! Five years ago I thought my path was going great and very clear that people in my life were going to be solid and the career that I had chosen was one that was going to open tremendous doors for me. I've adapted to the changes in my life being an advocate for people with disabilities suits me really well, and my history and entertainment industry makes a great bedfellow to this work. I've been doing a lot of writing soul-searching trying to figure out how I can connect the two together and the truth is I am manifesting it to be so. I'm visualizing my advocacy becoming something so grand and so big that it is going to be hard to keep under wraps for very much longer. I am great things and doing for the disabled community at large making changes on a federal and state level to  make it possible for every person that I know with a disability to live the most independent life they can possibly live without the fear of being institutionalized or rejected and looked upon as leeches on society. This coupled with my passion for acting and performing is going to make a tremendous staple in my universe. It's manifesting itself to me in so many ways.

This quote has been swimming in my head- the longest road that one must travel, the hardest steps that one must take these are the things that make the strongest spirits that walk in the world.  Nothing in my life that I've ever received I've taken for granted but I know that the things that I put blood sweat and tears  were the most rewarding.

I am looking to evolve further and can't wait to see what the universe has in store for my future I hope all of you are there to join me on the ride.

Swim in your Abundance

There are many moments in life in which we can decide who were going to become, those moments can come as often as you choose. Everything in life is a choice. We choose to love to hate to laugh or cry these are all well under control. The circumstances in our lives are not what makes us who we are but rather instead its the reactions to the circumstances there really define our character.

For so long I thought I was on this one very clear path to who I was supposed to be and who I was to  become, but my circumstances  changed that. I will probably end up where I am supposed to be but  I am allowing the wind to carry me beyond what I could imagine and beyond what I could hope. The truth is life's adventures are things that we don't plan. When we let go of our desires and our will and allow. I'm learning to allow the universe to surround me with its light. I'm trying to give the least amount of resistance to see my dreams come to fruition. By allowing, I am experiencing, I am growing and I am soaring above any limits my earthly mind had placed on himself. I am dancing in the unknown and I am loving it.

No one knows what tomorrow will bring so can't we just enjoy today and be the best people we can in these  moments that we have and be thankful for the ones that we might have tomorrow.
The river of my life is definitely be an interesting and rocky. But as I sit still and allow the waters to calm themselves there is no limit to what might rise above the surface.


For the longest time I've been chasing recognition and acknowledgment from people that didn't deserve it people that thought because they had things handed to them or that they got a" lucky break" so I would kiss their feet. And now I laugh! The truth is I'm allowed to create systemic change for the greater good and through this change my artistic wings will expand broader than I can even imagine. I used to have this innate fear that if I wasn't starving artists that deserve to be abundant artists but that's not true the Ceator has many streams that float to the same river.  My stream is on the fast course to my abundant ocean. And I'm being a good shepherd of the abundance I have been allowed to possess in such a short time.


I'm very thankful for the friends that I have in my life and for the people who can see my heart. I am truly gifted to be surrounded by such love and passionate beauty!

Empowering Changes

So many things in my life have happened in the last year that it completely changed my outlook. I believe that our cores are always the same in our foundations should never crumble. But we must evolve as living creatures on this planet the powers that be have given us brains and hearts specifically for this purpose. Along my path I have encountered people that have chosen to be stagnant in their evolution as human beings their hearts are stuck and their minds are weak, me being who I am want to help them. But I realize that this is a moot point because someone how  is not motivated change their life they become happy in midst of their misery because that what they know. In my life I have had to overcome many things, I had to let go childish concepts very early. Stretch my maturity to the brink at an age when I should've been having all-night keggers and throwing caution to the wind. I now find myself in a state of perpetual giving. Giving my time, to others, organizations, to my consumers and to my art. This is the path my creator has laid out for me.

I have those moments where I think to myself why must I always raise above the petty conflicts that the people in my life create. Sometimes I wish I could just be a real bitch and tell everyone to grow the fuck up and learn how to communicate like a human being, stop hiding behind false pride, stop being scared that if you step out on that branch you might fall. Nothing in this life is worth having without taking the risk in order to get it. If I gave into the world and listen to what it told me I couldn't do I'd be living in a box, down by the river! Wwll I refuse... Some of the greatest adventures in my life where because I took those risk I jumped on and had faith.  Now I know this is a tall order for some there's all these excuses in the world not to live in fearlessness.  I implore you give it a try don't limit yourself over circumstances you had no control over. Take control now, listen to your heart now, and find your peace. It's true what they say life is what you make of it and you can reboot your life every moment of every day but that's your choice.

I am so proud of my student's making strides to live as independent and they want very early in their lives. It brings tears to my eyes when I think that I was just small part in putting that fire underneath them. They are the conquerors, the Lionheart's, and the future of this world. They never let their physical limitations dictate who their going to be, in fact their disabilities are what drives them empowers them to be better stronger, faster, and dream bigger than anyone else I know.

Day Of The Heart

It's February when does that mean to you? I'll tell you what it means to me and means you're either alone or you're with someone. I've made a vow to myself this year not to over indulge myself on chocolate or OD on Molly Ringwald movies there's just something so nostalgically romantic about 1980s romantic comedies. When I was a little boy I used to wonder where the Jake Ryan and Patrick Swayze's were in my life. So in order to distract myself from the Sirens call of the 80s movie I am going out that's right I'm going out and celebrating  and embracing the holiday of the heart. You see even though Valentine's Day is completely commercialize it is a reminder to follow our hearts and passions. So instead of focusing on the chocolates and flowers think about what it signifies what it would make the other person feel like. See how many times you can make your partner's heart flutter or skip a beat these are the things that matter most, V Day is the one day where we actually get to celebrate the heart and all it stands for, now granted we should be doing this every day this gives us an excuse.
 Recently a lot of my friends have been reaching the pinnacles of their success I am  extremely happy for them and with their successes they push me further to where I want be  and they are a constant example of what's to come in my life. This last year has been so full of interesting changes for me the other day I was looking in the mirror and said who are you, and the I took a  breath smiled and whispered to myself there you are. Sometimes life can happen so fast and in a wink we have transformed into something else. If you would ask me a year ago where I would be today this would be the furthest from my mind but the truth is I am enjoying the journey. I have learned to submit more and more of my life to Him. He is in control and with all my advocacy I know it will pay off in my world of entertainment. I am pulling for force so that the two aspects of my life merge to become one.
I'll close with this life is a river that constantly churns but there are so many crevices  we never know when it will give you a detour. I say go with it as long as you are pushing towards your goals and hopes God's universe will bless you. Dreams are the manifestation of your realities.

Hotwheelz Intro

This is my first blog experience ever, I consider it to be a companion to the biography I am currently writing and maybe gives everyone a taste of what's to come in my novel. I am an actor, comedian and advocate. I have many passions but I believe the only way to change the world is through love. I hope that doesn't sound trite to any of you I honestly believe that. I so don't know how to begin an intro blog.


The most important people in my life and my friends and my family the two of them intertwine quite often because my friends are my family I grew up in very different family dynamics and moved around a lot and I believe that's what made me vigorously independent I will probably get into greater details in later blogs. Even though I'm in a wheelchair I sometimes forget that the chair is even part of me until someone reminds me and says oh my God you're in a wheelchair and then I have this aw ha moment and I say you're right! I consider myself an element of surprise a lot of people don't expect a gay person to be so rooted in their faith. I know God has saved me through many trials and tribulations in my life and it is not fair for me to forsake and just because it is not trendy to believe in Him and  be in the gay world as well.


As you come to read most of my blogs you'll understand that I just don't give a darn and I often use curse words the truth is words only have the power you give them and to me I am very selective of the power I give my words and that is my choice. If at any time you have any questions about me do not hesitate to ask me anything. One thing is I am not shy. Except when it comes to dating really handsome man the problem that  most of them don't have half a brain and only want me for one thing I wonder if you can guess what that is. I guess it doesn't help that hanging out with mostly females, I  describe myself of having a female heart and mind I can relate more to how a woman thinks and feels more than a man. I believe it is because  most men only think with their bottom half. I don't get that if you only think with your sexual organs what's left when you get old and tired. Do you just stopped existing? And  no that isn't a question for the Viagra companies to pick up. You'll find that most of my blogs do not have a cohesive stream of consciousness rather it's more random thoughts in my head that I will someday place an order for all the world to see.


I hope you enjoy!