This summer has been really interesting I’ve traveled a lot I
did Sacramento a few times I went to Washington DC, trip hopped around
New York City I got closer to some people and grew further apart from others
all the while maintaining the core of who I am. Life is a funny thing the
people in your life come crashing at you like ocean waves some of them linger
on and stay for the rest of your life. Others return to the ocean with only
remnants of what they left you with. I grieved the loss of some people recently.
I hope that they will find their way back to me. I believe true friendship
cannot be found without brutal honesty as a foundation. Not to say that this
should not be tempered by kindness love and understanding but if you cannot be
honest with the person that you consider a friend in hopes that the gentle
redirection will put you back on the right course then where you really friends
to begin with? I’ve recently had to fine tune my ability to read people and
discerning who I can trust, I take full responsibility for my level of
naïveté of putting people on a pedestal that they could not possibly live up to. But all I can do is open the doors
and communication and let the rest take its course.
I’ve been very
humbled recently by people critiquing my abilities I just smile and say if they
really knew me would they have said what they thought of me? As a person with a
disability I believe I have a responsibility to carry myself with pride, love,
and respect. I must push through the stereotypes of yesterday and show my true
nature. To be honest I think my passion and my drive and my sense of self frightens
some people. People are always talking about making change but then when
somebody comes along and actually implements it they freaked out. They’re like
wait a minute where comfortable talking about change not actually doing something
about it. I myself in the opposite I’m a doer not a talker I like to actually
see the change that I’m talking about if I’m going to speak words into
existence the actions for the words need to be that much greater. A sense of
self-worth that can only be manifested from the heart, some people have taken
the strong-willed nature and try to strap me down and change me. But I only
answer to Him. He has blessed me so much in this past year no matter how much I
look at my life I’m abundantly full and overflowing with joy. Life can attack you with all kinds of
obstacles, but the truth is that everyone has the tools within themselves to
conquer these things no matter what the problem. People are too busy blaming
other people fort their shortcomings to unlock the God damned door of their toolbox.
I recently spent a
week with a group of amazing youth at the youth leadership forum for students
with disabilities in Sacramento (YLF) I was there as a co-counselor and a
mentor to these leaders of the future. But what came out of it was me being
taught, inspired and motivated to do so much more than what I’ve been doing.
To address every facet of my life and crank it up a notch, to stare fear right
in the face and attack. Life is so full of positive possibilities we just have
to walk through the door to grab them. Go without fear trusting your heart and
believe in the power of one, that ONE can change the world.
I am working on balancing my life for complete optimization
I am ready for my love to enter my life and share my joys, my sadness and every
part of my spirit. As the seasons turn so do my thoughts to love passion,
strength and motivation to do more than just what is asked of me. Amen
